Nanowrimo

November's here! and that means Nanowrimo '12 is here... 

for those of you who dont know, it stands for national novel writing month. a friend of mine introduced it to me years ago... the objective is to write a novel in a month. 

50 000 words in a month. just type it all out, no editing, no nothing. just squeeze those creative juices and bring your characters to live. there's a word count program thingy on their website, and you can see your bar slowly increasing as you progress throughout the month. 

So once you surpass the 50k word count within november, you're considered a winner :) and you get really cool badges and a cert or something. you can even publish your book. here's one of the badges i got way back in '09.

i think most people who get to the 50k mark would agree with me that getting there isnt the hard part. oh sure, there'd be days when the plot bunnies all hop away, and there's no inspiration, the muse is off playing hookie, and you hit writer's block. but, if you're lucky, things work out in the end and the words just come spewing out. 

the hard part is the editing. here's the thing. you put in so much effort, and you think you've got a solid piece going on. but when you edit, you end up throwing chunks out and wondering if you were sane when you typed those chapters out. and you end up jumping back and forth throughout your story, making sure you get your details to match.

my original piece was about 85k, and after all the editing i think it got cut down to 60-70k words. 

i enjoyed writing. i still do. but i think i'm still recovering from the phobia i got from editing. nowadays when i try to write, i cant help but read when i'm done for the day, as opposed to reading through and editing only when i was done with the whole piece, like i did back in '09. 

and i hate reading back what i've written. i dont like reading what i wrote. and i am absolutely terrified of someone else reading my piece.

i keep running different scenarios in my head, and in the end the story just dies there because i cant bring myself to just leave things be and continue on with the story. i keep thinking how frustrated i'd get when i do my final editing after finishing the story. hence the WIPs (work-in-progress for those  of you who dont know) accumulating on my laptop and phone. then when i stumble upon them on a random day, i'd be so pissed at myself for not continuing because i think those storylines have a pretty good backbone and plot line going on. 

maybe one day i'd be able to finish another piece. type in my last full stop and put the end  and save the doc. feel the elation without the dread that follows in the wake of editing.