moon river

so what's up with the classics?

classic icons; classic movies; classic books; classic music; classic style.

sometimes they come to you in black and white, from a completely different time. take grace kelly and audrey hepburn. breakfast at tiffany's and the sound of music.

some of them you'll never get sick of. in my case, it would be pride and prejudice.

then there are fail proof ones that you can watch over and over again, at any time, no matter what mood you're in. i'm looking at you, Friends.

sometimes, they're not really that old, and yet, harry potter is a classic to me. 

heck, some even turn into a cultural phenomenon.

most of the time, they speak funny. in SATC, Mr Big always greet Carrie by saying "how're you doing, kid?" Seriously?

oh and one more thing, Black is always in. always. everything looks good in black. the only exception being a wedding dress.


how do they survive through the changing times? fashion comes and goes, but style is forever. what determines that style factor?

they say we learn history as to not repeat the mistakes from our past. is this really why we're fascinated by the past? or is it because it's so unrelatable to us now, that we're so fascinated by it. us Gen. Y kids will never know of stolen kisses or vinyls playing in the background as your parents dance in the living room. and i guess that's part of the reason why i keep going back for more.

the grinch.

christmas eve. i used to look forward to this day. even though my family wasn't christian, christmas was a big thing in my house. 

every year we'd put up our 6 foot tall christmas tree. sort through the christmas lights, hang up ornaments, cover the base with the gold covering. we had two train sets. both were lego, but one was the kiddy version, with big blocks and a battery operated train. the other was super complex. you could change tracks, and you really had to plan out the route because there were limited number of tracks to use. make it too big and you'd have to dismantle and start all over again. it ran on electricity, and you could adjust the speed etc. over the years we added our lego toys to build bridges and flyovers. if you let the trains go too fast, they literally flew off the tracks.

and of course, no christmas tree is complete without the presents waiting at the base of the tree. wrapped up all daintily with pretty ribbons and foldings. my mom used to pick out presents for us, but as we got older, we each picked out what to buy for each other. 

i love getting presents. who doesnt? i think most of my love for christmas stemmed from the excitement of getting ready throughout december. and when you finally get to open the presents, it's just such a wonderful feeling. i love the surprise of tearing through the wrappers to get to your gift. i'm not one of those girls who unwrap their presents slowly, trying to save the wrapping paper for memory - i'm too impatient for that. those presents have been sitting under the tree, taunting me for weeks! i just have to get to it!

that was christmas in malaysia. 

christmas in russia is different. sure, there were christmas parties and gift exchange going on, but this year i just wasnt really feeling festive, and for the first time since coming here, i think i really do feel homesick. 

christmas eve and i wont be doing anything. the little gift exchange i'm supposed to have with a few of my best friends, yeah that's been postponed since we've got an exam and a test to sit for respectively. christmas dinner, what dinner?

my mom's half of the family is at my home now. they all came over for christmas, and i cant remember the last time they came over, all together. my relatives from jakarta and singapore all came over on sunday, and they're all spending the holiday together. 

it sucks that they've all gotten so close in the recent years, i.e. when i'm stuck here in russia. all alone. with no one who's able to drop by. you think its hard for malaysians to get visa here? wait till you're indonesian. it's hard to get visa for so many countries. 

i was all excited to skype my mom's half of the family. i even put a reminder on my phone, to set the time i'd skype home. i planned it out with my sister - it was a date. 

lo and behold. they're all out in kl, celebrating. i couldn't even get in touch with them. they were all so busy and having so much fun. amidst all the noise and the bustle, my texts all went by unnoticed. my older brother was the only one to reply me. he was at work, see, so he wasnt with them. 

he's sad that he wont be joining them for the genting trip. yeah, all five families and my grandma will be heading up to genting for two days. my brother started working not too long ago, so he only had one day off for christmas. so he's staying home. 

it sucks to be him, but guess what. it sucks to be me more. i dont even want to be here anymore. 

have yourself a merry fucking christmas. 

maudlinism

So the PMR results came out today, and my youngest brother was one of those to get their results today. he did pretty well i guess, 5As, 2Bs and 1D. the D was naturally for mandarin, his weakest subject ;p since my sister was the only one to get all 8As, i'm not in any position to berate him for not getting an A for a subject that coincidentally was my first B on a major exam ever. 

the other Bs were for sejarah and BM. i'm fine with BM(in which he did wayyy better than expected), but he could have totally gotten an A for sejarah. he did so many careless mistakes and didnt bother re-checking his answers so yeah i'm pissed bout that B. 

but all in all, his results were a Huge improvement from when i went back during my summer break. at that time, he had only one A, multiple Cs and many Ds. 

naturally my mom is over the moon with his results. he can get into science stream if he wants to! funny thing is, my sister and i are way harder on him that my mom. but i do acknowledge that it's a huge improvement and quite an achievement for him, so i congratulated him and told him to go celebrate and enjoy today.

he was actually a little afraid to tell my dad his results.

tomorrow it's time to scare him about SPM. my sister thinks i'm evil, but hey, this is probably the only time he will care so much about his results and the repercussions of his actions on his academics. you can literally prepare for PMR by doing the MCQs over and over again, which was what i forced him to do, but for SPM, you have to write essays. and honestly, reading sample essays of students who had no idea what they were talking about were just plain hilarious. but if it was my brother goreng-ing and spouting crap, now that would just be plain painful. 

i will never forget about the whole "zaman gelap because there was no TNB at that time" sejarah essay everrrr. 

so he can and should celebrate today, because when we skype tmr, i'm gonna scare him a little and then help him choose which stream he'll go into... my mom says she's fine if he goes into either pure or sub-science, but my sister was all "no! he must suffer through pure science like me too!" crazy girl. lol. 

but i guess pure science would be his best bet, since the humanitites subjects are in BM. and his BM is not strong. at all. besides, neither my sister nor i can help him if he took econs, commerce, or accounts. till this day i still think the A1 i got for my accounts is a joke. 

on the topic of highschool, i was checking out instagram today when i stumbled upon this pic. 

a friend of a friend uploaded this pic, and i dont know why, but i just think its damn cool to have a touch 'n go card that's custom designed with my high school emblem no less. i totally want one!

and this made me realize that for some reason, i've always clung on to high school. those were literally the best days of my life. and for some reason, nothing measured up to all the fun and activities that i've had in high school. 

was i biased because i spent the six years prior to entering high school in a chinese primary school? college was fun too, TCSH was the newest and fanciest Taylor's campus at the time, yet it seemed anticlimatic after my KDU days. 

most people dread highschool and cant wait for it to be over. Uni life was supposed to be the best thing ever. and looking at some of my friends, i can see how that would actually apply in real life, but i guess it just hasnt been that way for me. 

i'm loving the freedom uni has afforded me, but so far it hasnt exactly topped my high school memories. one can only hope that the remaining years would get better.

fanfiction vs fictionpress

so it seems that after nnwm i've become sort of addicted to writing. or maybe it's because i hadn't let it out in such a long time, once i started writing, the floodgates just burst wide open. 

okay, first and foremost, the novel i did for this last november is a fanfic. a castle fanfic, to be specific. its AU, and editing's a Bitch. but yeah, it will be posted onto ff.net sometime in the near future...? i'll start soon as i've sorted through the first five chapters to my liking... and i'll put the link in one of my posts here... 

but yeah, getting fanfiction to work is such a hassle. first you have to upload it, and if you select the wrong format while uploading, you can only edit, but not publish. i dont even know how betas work. pfft. 

anyway i kinda posted a one shot while i'm searching for time to edit my novel, and it's a castle fic too ;p so pm or msg me if you're interested to read that. gahhhh.

fanfiction vs fictionpress. 

one is a platform for fanwork, the other is for original works. i've mainly stuck to ff, since i could pick stories or movies that i liked etc, but i only venture into fp when a friend recommends something to me. 

since i've written two novel length works, (one's a fanfic and the other is completely original) i'd like to take some time to talk about that. so essentially i'll be comparing a fanwork(on ff.net) and an original fiction(on fp.net)

the thing with ff is your characters are already created. they have a background already, and you're only exploring more of said character. even if you introduce your own Original Character, the rest of the "world" is already set. you've got your main characters and supporting characters with all their quirks and personalities already. the author doesnt have to delve too deep to bring the characters to life. how many OCs do you have to focus on anyway? even if your OC plays a major role, you wont have more than a few, or it'll be over at fp instead of ff. if you choose to write something set in the fantasy world, magic already has it's rules. you already know what kind of creatures exist in that land. the technology available has already been predetermined by the original writers or authors. you're just borrowing them to explore.

on fp however, the authors have to really work on developing a character. and the hardest part of that is to create someone who is real, and not this perfect version of who you'd like to be. it takes a whole lot more effort to create someone that's completely authentic and real, and three dimensional. you want to create your own magic, sure, go ahead. good luck making your rules though. oh what, you dont need rules, you say? then say goodbye to your storyline. what's your character going to do when he or she faces any complication? just magic it away? sure, do that and your plot will magically disappear as well. or maybe you decide that in your story, animals will be able to talk.  do you even realize the repercussions of that? try writing a scene. how are you going to keep the focus on who you want when the insects that you dont see, but will logically be in the scene, all begin clamoring to get their opinions heard. only some animals can talk, you say. and how is this selection made? how do you distinguish the animals that can speak and those that cant? i'm rambling away, but see, this is the thing with writing on fp. you have to think out all the details and rules and reasoning. it's more of a challenge, but it's more rewarding as well, since you set the boundaries for your story.

anyway, lots of people out there say ff is a really good place to start writing, and it's true. it's easier, and a great practice, not to mention the reviews you can get to help you improve. (reviews, not that easy to get actually. i've had 187 visitors in the past 90mins, but 0 reviews. boohoo.) but if you're up for something more challenging, go try your hand at writing something original. think out of the box and create your own world ;)

yeah baby...

so i went to the post office today, and successfully collected my parcel. wheee :D

my mom sent me EIGHT pairs of shoes, and i cannot wait for spring to come. unfortunately, i have a long wait ahead. a very long wait. hopefully the snow and slush will be gone by late march or april at the latest...

opening my parcel was like getting a huge ass early christmas present. i packed it with my mom, but since it takes more than two months to get here, i've completely forgotten what i packed inside.. so yeah... i'm pulling things out and going 'hey! cool i've got this...' or 'omg thats so awesome' but mainly 'oh my god, more shoes?!' but i'm not complaining :)

on a side note i finally have milo! i swear to god milo is like one of the best malaysian products everrrr. 

oh one more thing that totally made me feel like i'm friggin' awesome. 

see when i went to the post office, i didnt have the slip that you're supposed to show to collect your parcel. i tracked my parcel online and saw that my parcel arrived in the post office, so i wrote down my tracking code onto a piece of paper and just brought that slip there since i figured they could confirm with their database in the post office(which they've done before). 

okay, why did i not have my slip? simple. because most of the time, the slip just goes missing. you can go bug the commandant downstairs, but it's always the same few slips, and you normally only see yours a month after your parcel has been sitting in the post office, and you pray to god that your parcel hasnt been sent back to  malaysia. 

so anyway, after an hour's plus wait at the post office, it was my turn, and i passed my tracking code to the woman working there. she said the internet was down and langsung dont wanna layan me. due to the language barrier, i find that malaysians here get pushed around alot and dont get the type of treatment customers are due sometimes. in fact, i know of only one other girl in my year who dares to scold the guards etc and tell them off when they bully or cari pasal with us for no apparent reason.

Here's the best part. 

i sort of told off the woman working in the post office. yeah baby. even with my russian that is not as good as i'd like it to be, i explained things to her, and made her manually look through the records, and go search for my parcel. 

BOO-YAH!!!

she actually listened to me and layan-ed me. felt so awesome. haha. and i collected my parcel. :D

for those of you who dont live here, you're probably thinking "so what? consumer rights and all that.." 

but that's the thing with living in a country where you can hardly use english, you really get brushed off due to the language barrier.and even when they're trying to help you or just asking you a question it sounds like they're scolding you -.-

 i know that as a foreigner in their country, we should respect their language and learn it etc, i'm all for that, but seriously, some of them could seriously use a healthy dose of friendliness. not all russians are like that, the few that i know from here and there are really nice and friendly, some are really helpful and awesome, but as a population on a whole, russians arent exactly teddy-bear friendly on the outside.  

so for today at least, it's Amanda 1, Moscow 0.

if only.

So i completed my NaNoWriMo sometime this morning around 2:30am. typed in "The End" and after a moment of hesitation, hit the key to put in a full stop. 

i'm... happy with how it turned out. the worst part was probably not knowing how to end it, but i managed to straighten out the kinks and mold it into something i'm satisfied with :) 

Progress throughout November

Anyway, the final word count is.... 62723words! 

I've got no idea how much will survive after i begin editing, but i dont think the numbers will plummet much since i'm quite happy with the plot. or at least i was when i wrote it anyway :)

And since i've been pretty public about joining nnwm this year, i've got loads of friends asking what my novel's about, and to read my work when i'm done. i hate people reading my work, gleurghhhhh, but i might be inclined to share it somewhere when i'm done editing. so its not a flat out no, just a later. (and even though a teacher of mine always say later means no, my later means later) Be patient. Patience is a virtue, and i'm new to writing, so give me some time to give myself a pep talk.

On another note, December's here, and everyone's getting into the Christmas spirit. i think i'm turning into a softie or something, since i'm actually getting all gooey on the inside watching christmas episodes when my old self would normally just scoff. or not be affected. 

i'm actually getting pretty excited for Christmas, what with all the hype my friends are sharing using various medias and social networks.... sad thing is, moscow doesnt celebrate christmas until january. and there's no malaysians-hosted christmas celebration this year. Or at least, it wont be a huge event like the previous years...

word is, there's a paper we have to sit for our finals on 25th December. jolly good time. christmas just lost a little of it's spark for me. 

and the old amanda is back. 

crash and burn

so i've made it into the winners circle for nnwm '12, and i'm kinda stuck in a ditch. i think i've got a few more chapters to go before i wrap this up, but i'm stuck at a crossroad now. i had nice plans outlined for my characters, and i think i kind of know how i want to end it, if i choose to go down that path.

But,

i heard this song (crash and burn by lifehouse) and it so totally suits my characters, and i really wanna try out a song fic, but that would throw my plots in a huge loop and stretch things out like another five chapters at least. and i have no idea how to lead into it, or how to resolve it. 

but it's just so them! 

decisions decisions.... 

so i'm kinda finishing up this last scene, and i hit the crossroads... ergo the low word count for the day. i guess i'll sleep on it and decide tomorrow....

on a side note, a friend of mine found a new way to "de-stress", but i think mine is better. take a picture instead and share it with your friends, have a good laugh over it. it's better than laughing on your own... ;p

NaNo November

gosh, what a month it's been. 

i started out my nano piece late this year, with no intentions of reaching the target, actually. it was honestly just an itch that wouldnt leave me alone, so almost a week into november, i finally sat down and typed it all out. 

it started out pretty wobbly, and i'd only write every other day. when i surpassed the daily target, i was ecstatic. 

things took a turn for the worse and i barely wrote after that haha... 

but yesterday and today were awesome. i think i spewed out about 6000 odd words yesterday and another 4000 plus today... 

i'm not proud to admit that i may have let my school work slide a little these past few days... what can i say? one thing led to another.... anyway. i'm pretty proud that i had started from a draft that i didnt even have any intentions of pursuing properly in the first place and now i've gotten to the 43k mark :) and i've got a whole week to spew out my remaining 6500 words. easy peasy, right? touch wood just in case.

nonetheless, i think i can venture to say that i'm pretty confident about reaching the 50k mark soon.

day 22

i'm actually afraid of finishing this novel because that means i have to face reality again. december is going to be hardcore study month for me D:

it's my second time doing nano, and i can honestly say that this time round it was harder for me to balance things. 

My mom wasnt around to make sure i had to go to bed at a decent time. i could be writing all the way up to 3am and i'd have to make the choice. Should i plough on, on one hand letting my inner writer feel extremely satisfied but at the cost of messing up my already-temperamental sleep cycle; or should i force myself to save my work and stop there for the day.  but most of the time when it's already so late at night/early in the morning(depending on how you'd wanna look at it), it's hard to give up and go to bed. But most of the time my battery is almost flat anyway so i didnt really have a choice but to tuck in my laptop at the foot of my bed and continue the next day.

i managed to get through two days of eating only dinner by keeping myself busy with uni or writing in the day... most of the time, i'd only take a break because my laptop is running low on battery and i have to stop and charge it.

so yeah. this time round i didnt really pace myself, instead i kinda just dived head-first, and it works great for my writing, but i guess i'll have to be more disciplined next year if i dont want to let my other priorities slip so much.

on a side note, i fell in love all over again with my character today when she got all jealous over something stupid.  ;)

the end is near! cheers

Deepavali

SO.
the malaysians in my university had a deepavali celebration today...

my day started off atrociously. like seriously.
i woke at six because of a nightmare that is still creeping me out now. an hour later "someone" decided to pay me a visit almost two whole weeks early. then when my friend came over to borrow my tube top, i couldnt find it at all even though i ransacked my place.

make up was giving me such a bad time this morning... after multiple tries of attaching my falsies, i had to remove all my make up on one side and start all over. i was running sooooo late.

then i went on and did my hair (which even after a ton of hairspray were straight as sticks by the end of the day)... my friend and i were thiiiiiiiiis close to just staying in, but we decided to just buck up, and finish preparing since we went and bought sarees just for deepavali. Anyway, after doing hair and make up, i grabbed my clothes to meet my indian friend who was to help me with my saree.

anyway, i put on my saree.

and everything was so worth it.

all the bumps on the road and the hiccups in the morning were forgotten as my friend draped the saree and pinned it into place.

we got over there, and most of the event was unremarkable...
But, toward the end, the MC announced that we would have to watch just one last video, and then the dance floor would open.

we were really excited because after most events we'd be rushed out of the hall so they could clean up and return it etc...

so after the clip ended, i sort of exclaimed "Dance floor!"  and i didnt realize that it was so quiet in the hall, or that so many people would hear me. So many heads turned to us and my friend and i both tried to duck and hide our faces. here's the funny thing. even though i was the one who yelled, people turned and looked at my friend because she's an indian and naturally it's in the indian blood to want to dance or something. hahahahha.

dancing in a saree is no joke. i salute the girls who do it. even though my friends helped me tuck the ends in, they'd keep falling out as we danced. in the end i just ignored the saree and danced. and man its HOT dancing in a saree.

after that we were lazy to change back to our boots so we braved the weather in our strappy heels and sarees. my friends were pretty alright since they were wearing leggings or long johns underneath. i was wearing spanky pants under my saree so my legs were freezing by the time we got back to the hostel....


oh and one more thing that made my day! i found out that i was one of the five nominees for best dressed :D wheeeeee.
many people were upset with the winner of best dressed female and honestly speaking, her saree isnt that special or pretty.... but this year they didnt announce all the nominees since the event was running late, so they just called out the winner... i'd bet if they did call out all the nominees, and the audience could see and compare the sarees, there would have been an uproar at the results... haha.

But i was nominated! :) and there's a hugeeee smile plastered on my face now.

Adrenaline.

Done with my NaNoWriMo for today. and i completely broke my record! more than 7 thousand words in a day!!! :D

finally catching up!

i've even surpassed the target for tomorrow, which is 25 000 words. Halfway through!!! :D

the few chapters that i typed out today were so intense. My characters had their emotions flying all over the place. i was on an adrenaline rush and MY own emotions were sky rocket-ting all over as well... everything was just so intense.

i took breaks in between and spoke about other things with my friends but all it took was for me to read a few sentences and i'm back in the intense zone.    O.o

a few funny things happened along the way...
i remember at one point i was thinking daughter and pale, and my thoughts were going a million miles a minute, but my fingers couldnt type fast enough, so i somehow ended up with the word dale on the screen.

and for some reason, my friend and i couldnt find the term "collateral damage". i was describing it to her, and she knew what i meant, but for some reason the term just kept evading us. we came up with casualties, but i knew there was another term more fitting. In the end, i put a bookmark and continued on with the story as she tried to google it. when she told me "collateral damage", i did a backflip. in my head. i cant do a backflip in real life...  but yeah.... thanks zi :)

gonna take a break from writing... need to sort out what's going to happen next. i've typed out what i had planned and more than that... thankfully i kinda know where it should head, so hopefully the ideas will continue flowing. like today :)

and i need to get up early in the morning to prepare for a performance anyway... some international student day thingy thingy.

time to wind down, and get ready for bed :)


today was awesome.

karma

i am still reeling in shock.

my friends and i were in the metro, on our way home and we were just chatting as malaysians always do. during a lull in the conversation, a nice looking aunty came over, smiling, and tapped my friend, sherylee.

i nudged her to get her attention, and this blond haired russian aunty pressed something firmly into sherylee's hand. she smiled, and walked away.

we both thought she just passed on some random piece of paper, or gave sherylee drugs or candy or something. when she opened her hand, we were shocked to see a 500ruble note. that's like equivalent to rm50.

we were so shocked, and when we tried looking around for the lady to question or thank her, she had disappeared amongst the crowd in our wagon. and then she must have slipped out with the rest of the crowd when we pulled up to the next station.

Sherylee and i were in such a shock, and theorizing as to reasoning behind the nice lady's actions.

we told elise, another of my friend who was catching some shut eye next to me. she immediately thanked sherylee in advance for belanja-ing us lunch haha...

but we decided to give the money off to someone else who were more needy. it would've just been wrong to keep that money!

when we got off at our station, another russian aunty who had been in front of us the whole time asked if the nice lady said anything to us etc. then she told us the lady must've heard our conversation about our winter trip and the payments we had to make or something.


on our walk back to the hostel, the four of us including zi were still reeling in shock.


it'll be awesome when we pass on that money to a needy looking babushka or something, passing on the good deed in a chain :)


god bless the nice lady. karma comes back around and i'm sure something good is bound to go back to her.


ps. i'm still kinda on a high, reeling from the shock. faith in humanity restored! haha..

You've got mail!

or at least, i've got nano mail... and the timing couldnt be better.. :) 

i'm feeling rather exhausted after typing out almost four thousand words today... my contact lenses should have been taken out hours ago, i still need to take a shower, update my microbiology sketchbook, and prepare for two different classes that start way too early tomorrow morning. And my characters are still calling to me. 

anyway, the mail i got was like a little pick-me-up. i liked it so much that i'm gonna post it here. 

Subject: A Pep Talk from Chris Baty

You're watching a movie. And halfway through it, the hero crumbles.

He or she is lost. Surrounded by zombies or forsaken by love or separated from their favorite wookiee. They stare forlornly at the mess their life has become, hope fading that things will ever be put right again.

Screenwriters call this moment "the long, dark night of the soul." Every Hollywood movie has one because we love seeing our protagonists pummeled for a while before they pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and head out to kick some ass.

NaNoWriMo participants go through their own long, dark nights of the soul halfway through November. If you haven't experienced one already, you will very soon.

I say this with certainty because we've spent a lot of time and money making the middle stretch of this year's adventure especially difficult.

We don't have the costumes or the makeup budget to send a convincing-looking group of zombies to your door. Instead, we've relied on smaller, cheaper things to demoralize you mid-month. We've convinced your bosses and teachers to heap projects on you at the last minute. We've gotten your family to pitch fits when you need to get caught up on your word count. Most insidiously, we've paid your novel's cast to stumble through their scenes with all the eloquence and charm of a baked potato.

Why? Because we have to do something to make your novel-in-a-month endeavor a fair fight. Which it isn't. Look at you! You're a fantastically gifted individual, with fierce courage and an imagination powerful enough to knock out a dozen books in November.

If you don't believe me, just scroll back through all you've written so far. That's more than most people achieve in a year, and you did it in two weeks. It may be less than you'd hoped, and the quality may be crappier than you'd envisioned. But first drafts are supposed to be rough, and I guarantee you're too deep in the process right to recognize all the great stuff you've put on those pages. Despite our meddling, you've achieved a truck-load of literary goodness. And it's just a taste of what's ahead.

Because the second half of this noveling marathon is when things really begin to move. For starters, the NaNoWriMo-funded interference will end. This is partly because we've realized the whole "fair fight" thing was a dumb idea, and partly because we blew all of our harassment budget on yesterday's spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to crash every word processor in Manitoba.

Shenanigans aside, the back half of NaNoWriMo has always been a place where writers get their second winds. As long as you keep working, your potatoes will turn back into charismatic protagonists, and your imagination will build a path right out of these mid-month doldrums.

You can help build that path faster by hitting your writing goals for the next three days. This may sound like a small thing, but little, consistent writing achievements open the door to huge writing breakthroughs.

If you've fallen behind on your word count or lost the thread of your story, you may think no breakthrough will be big enough to save your book. Take heart: There are 300,000 of us out there right now living that exact same movie. We're all struggling to balance our books with the crazy stuff life has chucked at us these past two weeks. We're all wondering if we have what it takes to see this thing through. And we're all about to stand up, dust ourselves off, and go kick some major ass.

The long, dark night is ending, my friend. The homestretch lies ahead.

I'll see you at the finish line.

Chris

random much?

wrote more than 3000 words today for nanowrimo :) and i'm still not done for the day. the juices are flowing, baby!

anyway, i was taking a break from writing, and something funny happened.

naturally i texted one of my besties (shoutout to jialickme) and we had a very brief but fun texting session. they were also a few of the hardest text messages i had to compose. i had to squeeze my brain so hard trying to type out those few messages. took the both of us freaking long to send texts to each other.... constructing the erm, sentences, proved to be a harder challenge than expected. ;p

and she saw one of the new acronyms i made up as a typo -.- dummy. i just hadnt gotten to explaining the acronym!

anyway, i'm back to writing :) oh how i wish i could skip class tomorrow just so i could type through the night and continue typing all day.... but i wont. cos i cant. :(

anabasis.

as kids you have play dates. (or at least, the americans in my storybooks are all about arranging play dates for children)

when you hit ten, its all about hanging out with your friends.

at fifteen you can go out at night and it morphs into lepak.

reaching twenty you begin to chill.


but what comes after that? getting drinks after work?

and what about people in their mid-thirties or early forties? have a get-together?

after that you're in the tai-tai meeting up for brunch phase.

then what? visiting your friends at their homes because you all go to the same morning exercise thing in your neighborhood?
slowly each person shows up with a maid that your daughter in law stuck onto you?


i dont wanna get old.

11k

So. against my better judgement, i for some reason, decided to take on nnwm this year. never mind that i have a lot of things to settle academically or that i've barely had much free time this semester. 

Such a pretty badge this year ;)

i started pretty late but the words came spewing out, and there's no turning back now. i've just passed the 11k mark although my supposed target by this time should be 15k. 

feeling pretty nervous though... my characters have decided to make out and leave me standing at one side, trying to figure out what they'd wanna do next. D: 

they did tell me what they'd be doing in a few days' time, so i'm not so worried if i can get to that point. getting to that point from where i am is what's giving me the headache. 

so i've taken to going through the nnwm website etc, got myself a pretty word counter badge thingy. hopefully that'll motivate me to continue pumping words out. 

and they've got a word count scoreboard by your country... germany's right at the top, followed by london. america's split by states and region though, so kudos to them for snagging so many other top spots... moscow is ranked no. 486 haha... russia is only slightly better, coming in at 466. malaysia's doing pretty darn well at 117 :)

ignorance is bliss.

Ionkina (my physiology teacher) has permanently spoiled chewing gum for me. there was this class where we were learning bout the hunger-satiety mechanism etc and she once said that if you ever see a person, especially a medical student or a doctor, chewing gum, it goes to show that said individual has completely zero knowledge about physiology, and how said person might not have even completed high school. you know, because the chewing action activates your glands and stomach motility etc but there's no real food going down, so it ends up being bad for you etc. 

one of the reason that stuck with me was because of how epic it was when she said that. the way she just looked you in the eye and go "zero knowledge. Zero." is something that kinda sticks. besides, who makes such a big fuss over chewing gum anyway?

so. why the random rambling? 

i was watching an interview, and this actor that i absolutely love happens to be someone who would always chew gum on set and it was brought up during the interview. 

unfortunately, my brain went straight from the actor chewing gum to "zero knowledge" and that sucks because for the rest of the interview (which spanned an hour long) i kept thinking of how this actor i love, has "zero knowledge" and how much i'd like to tell them that chewing gum is really bad for you.

gargh. it was a wonderful interview though.

Nanowrimo

November's here! and that means Nanowrimo '12 is here... 

for those of you who dont know, it stands for national novel writing month. a friend of mine introduced it to me years ago... the objective is to write a novel in a month. 

50 000 words in a month. just type it all out, no editing, no nothing. just squeeze those creative juices and bring your characters to live. there's a word count program thingy on their website, and you can see your bar slowly increasing as you progress throughout the month. 

So once you surpass the 50k word count within november, you're considered a winner :) and you get really cool badges and a cert or something. you can even publish your book. here's one of the badges i got way back in '09.

i think most people who get to the 50k mark would agree with me that getting there isnt the hard part. oh sure, there'd be days when the plot bunnies all hop away, and there's no inspiration, the muse is off playing hookie, and you hit writer's block. but, if you're lucky, things work out in the end and the words just come spewing out. 

the hard part is the editing. here's the thing. you put in so much effort, and you think you've got a solid piece going on. but when you edit, you end up throwing chunks out and wondering if you were sane when you typed those chapters out. and you end up jumping back and forth throughout your story, making sure you get your details to match.

my original piece was about 85k, and after all the editing i think it got cut down to 60-70k words. 

i enjoyed writing. i still do. but i think i'm still recovering from the phobia i got from editing. nowadays when i try to write, i cant help but read when i'm done for the day, as opposed to reading through and editing only when i was done with the whole piece, like i did back in '09. 

and i hate reading back what i've written. i dont like reading what i wrote. and i am absolutely terrified of someone else reading my piece.

i keep running different scenarios in my head, and in the end the story just dies there because i cant bring myself to just leave things be and continue on with the story. i keep thinking how frustrated i'd get when i do my final editing after finishing the story. hence the WIPs (work-in-progress for those  of you who dont know) accumulating on my laptop and phone. then when i stumble upon them on a random day, i'd be so pissed at myself for not continuing because i think those storylines have a pretty good backbone and plot line going on. 

maybe one day i'd be able to finish another piece. type in my last full stop and put the end  and save the doc. feel the elation without the dread that follows in the wake of editing.

One of Those days

So it's gearing up to be one of Those days. Great. 

U know what I mean... When someone's voice is enough to grate on your nerves. Oh the whiny one; then there's the holier than thou idiot; the downright shouts for no bloody reason voice; the spoilt brat. Gods. 

And then there are those who just needs a high five. In the face. With a stool. You just look at some people and you can't help but want to punch them in the face. 

An hour and a half of mindlessly copying Russian texts should hopefully be enough to get me out of this funk. Useless lecture in the morning. Bleurgh. 

Fundamentals.

Boys and girls. We are fundamentally different. One of us have the XX chromosome while the other has an XY combination. Everything else is the same, just one tiny difference in our chromosome pairs. 

And yet we are so different from each other. As kids, we develope as different pace. Now that we're grown up, we're still so different. 

A friend of mine presumably faced a bump in his romance life. Presumably.

His reaction is probably the same as any other girl who'd face the same thing. Emo and depressed. In this aspect both genders react similarly. 

But here's where I find a difference and find it fascinating. 

His guy friends are all about talking the girl out of a relationship she recently got in to; or breaking them up etc. Basically giving my friend another chance of getting her. (there were also talks of playing the field instead of ever having anything serious. This i do not condone)

If this were to happen to me or one of my girl friends, i'd think that I or my friends would work the other angle. 

He's not good enough for you anyway; there are other guys out there; if he's with someone else that's his loss etc. Basically we're encouraging each other to move on. 

I guess this is why most of the time guys are doing the chasing and courting. Note that I say most of the time ;p

Either way, I think we're young only once. Biologically you heal and grow faster and better when you're young.

So take this chance and go out there. Love passionately and live your life.  If you fall, you fall hard.  Hurts like hell, but pick yourself up, and try again. Don't make the same mistakes twice, after all, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

But then again, don't become so guarded that you don't live. After all, we're young only once. 

Either way, i Hope things work out for my friend. 

Welcome

So it's been quite some time since i've last blogged... and for some reason the blogging-mojo has returned :)

Anyhoo,

since i'm in a new chapter of my life, i think it's high time to start over fresh with a new blog... clean slate and all that...

Stay tuned!