Tuesday, April 23, 2013

pop!

why do we have this incessant need to fix everything? sometimes it's better to leave things good and broken...

the moment we see something that doesn't meet our expectation or if something throws us in for a loop; the moment we notice that tiny mistake or the small imperfection, we reach out to fix it or to hide the blemish under layers of what is more pleasing to our eye.

we think of solutions; reach for the liquid paper; some even go so far as to change their recollection of events so that what remains is a more pleasing memory - the edges blurred out as a soft light casts a hazy glow onto the subjects of said memory. 

but isn't it necessary to let things simmer sometimes? just let it sit and see what happens. 

if our parents rushed over to pick us up every time we fell when learning to walk, none of us would be standing on our own two feet now. 

if the hero doesn't suffer in misery before conquering his demons, the story wouldn't be as captivating as it is. 

if everything is smooth sailing in a relationship in general, we wouldn't experience the elation from triumphs when they came. 


where is this coming from? well it's nothing personal from my mundane life. just an observation that i happened to make today.

i guess that's why i'm such a sucker for angst. i'm referring to the urban dictionary definition of angst.
"Angst, often confused with anxiety, is a transcendent emotion in that it combines the unbearable anguish of life with the hopes of overcoming this seemingly impossible situation. Without the important element of hope, then the emotion is anxiety, not angst. Angst denotes the constant struggle one has with the burdens of life that weighs on the dispossessed and not knowing when the salvation will appear."

unbearable anguish indeed. 

throw in a glimmer of hope for overcoming a seemingly impossible situation and you've more or less got me: hook, line and sinker.

Angst and UST(unresolved sexual tension), eventually turning into fluff and RST(resolved sexual tension), 'natch. Just my cup of tea ;)

Thursday, April 18, 2013

reading and writing: always and forevermore, my long love..

i like transforming thoughts into words.

putting pen to paper. the staccato as my fingers hit the keyboard.

playing with the words. changing them around, mixing things up and seeing what i can create from there.

i'd like to be able to take something from my mind - my thoughts - and mold them into words, put them to paper and make it something substantial for another person.

i don't write to please others. i do it to please myself. and if it pleases someone else at the same time, then that's just an added bonus. i have drafts written on loose sheets of paper, plot bunnies hastily transferred to my notebooks, a witty or well-crafted line scribbled here and there. and it just continues to grow.

i do believe my growing love of writing is tightly linked to my everlasting love of reading.


i loved reading as a kid. i still do. just for those few hours, i could escape to another world, leave reality behind as it dissolves into nothingness and immerse myself in a different universe. a place with hope and magic; a place my inner romantic could surface; a place with it's own set of rules.

ebooks and the internet and pdfs are great, but nothing beats holding a solid book in your hands. the experience is just different.

the musty smell of Dragonlance books. the dodgy stain on a book cover. the beloved creases in the paperback's spine. the hastily folded dog ears in the corner of a page. the long forgotten perfume-sample bookmark. the scribbles and notes in the books' margin. the comforting weight in your hand.

i have to admit that my lack of accessibility to printed books have made me enjoy reading slightly less.


hence i have turned to writing. sometimes escaping to another person's world isn't enough. sometimes you have to go out there and create your own world. build your own reality. immerse yourself within a character.

and maybe, just maybe, for that short hour or so, you become someone else. you get to decide anything and everything. it's exhilarating. there's not much else in the world that can top this feeling.

and it feels so liberating.