ice skating and the cirque

so today was in a word, exhaustingggg. but so worth it haha... here's my outfit of the day, including a matching hat :)

 since we were going ice skating, i brought my skates along... they just happen to match my charm bracelet :)

see the similarities? ;p

and i'm off!

it was such a lovely sunny day! i couldn't resist snapping a pic with Zi as we headed out. 

the sun was so glaringly bright!

here's a better pic with us in the shade...

sparkly snow! the ground sparkles nicer than edward cullen. haha

we eventually got to our destination. skates on!

wheeee my skates are prettier ;p

Sabrina, Zi Ying, Yuen Xing and myself. Elise was being a dummy and didnt skate

love love loved the sun

So after skating, we lepak-ed a little (as malaysians are apt to do) before rushing back to yugo. Sabrina and i had a date with Cirque Du Soleil!

Michael Jackson baby! wootwoots. Opening night! double wootwoots. there were sooooooo many people... the place was hugeeeeee. the pic on the bottom left was taken from the stairs of the second balcony O.o

Anyway, it was worth every ruble i paid. in my opinion the first half moved a little slowly, but there were a few favorites. the second half was just mind blowing. i have no words. it was just so amazingggg. 

So after the show ended we trudged back to the metro and returned to yugo. while we were taking the short cut back, i noticed that there was no one else around. the dungu that i was am decided it would be awesome to jump into the fluffy, shiny blanket of smooth snow. 

notice how i'm not wearing any gloves. and the real feel for the temperature was -19celcius. the moment i got out of the snow, my fingertips literally turned white and began hurting. and me being the dungu that i am decided to jump into the snow a rather long distance away from the hostel. i could barely bend my fingers to get the blood circulation starting. it was so bloody painfullllll. by the time i reached the fourth floor i could kind of bend my fingers a little, but they still hurt like a bitch. they continued hurting for a very long while. 

my fingers didnt fall off; neither did any fingernails. would i do this again? knowing me, probably yes. but i'll have more common sense to repeat my mistakes closer to the hostel and warmth. haha.

failure.

So. i received a rather lengthy fb message(i love those. lengthy messages, that is. back to my point) from someone who shall remain anonymous. my friend shared to me JK Rowling's Harvard Speech and if you haven't read it, do click on the link up there, it's a really good read.

i think i've probably read it once before, but it never really stuck to me. reading it this time around, i guess my circumstances and thinking have changed, so her speech really resonated when i read it just now. i really loved bits and pieces from here and there. 

"...You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown."

i wish someone had sat me down and talked to me about failure back when i was in high school. i tried to do the same to my younger sister when she got her SPM results. i dont think i did a very good job though. i lay part of the blame on the not-so-stellar skype connection. ;p

the thing is, we were taught to excel mostly because we were so afraid of failure. i remember for my very first spelling test (听写) back in primary one, my teacher at that time threatened us with something if we didnt get 100%. it was our very first test so we didnt know if the teacher would really have carried out her threats, but my fear was so great that i made myself sick. i got stomachaches for days before my test and even vomited; my mom got a little concerned. looking back, it's really not all right to let a 7 year old scare herself sick for something so stupid even though she's totally more than prepared for the test. but at the end of that day, i got 100% for my test, and i dont think i vomited for the subsequent tests. but that was it. my constant fear of punishments and failures was what drove me to excel.

i had a minor meltdown at 17 when i got my SPM results when i met my first real brush at failure. Getting an A2 was inconceivable. getting two A2s was the end of my world back then. 

the major meltdown came when i was 19 and finally got my Cambridge A-Levels results. that was my biggest failure at the time. thankfully my parents have always been there for me, and talked me out of repeating A-levels (thank god!)

but i needed that failure. it was time for me to fail in my own eyes. it was time for me to fail in my parents and siblings' eyes.

and i've become a better person after that meltdown. 

i'd never be able to survive in moscow if it werent for that meltdown that changed my priorities and perception of the world. in a country where your test grades depended on the mood of your teacher for that particular day, you have to learn to roll with the punches. unfortunately i think i've learnt to roll with the punches a bit too well. 

my perception of the world is different from the norm, and although i seem quite vocal at times, a majority of my thoughts have been private and would remain so. 

you see someone who's money-minded and "evil"; i see someone who's fighting to leave his past behind.

you see someone funny and is great at speaking; i see him for the douchebag he is.

you see someone cold and ruthless; i see someone who knows what they want and are willing to fight for it. 

i see the bad boy just looking to have fun. i see the girls who just wont admit that they're sluts. i see the mature and realistic people who knows what the real world is like. 

but i also see my flaws and faults. some of them anyway. and i try to be more forgiving, i try to understand that my perception of the world is not within the confines of "safe malaysian society".  

   

 

shopping.

i had a pretty good day today, did lots of things :) dropped a considerable amount of money here and there :(

my day started off pretty late (i've been sleeping at around 5am for the past week) and i went to the post office to collect my USB/wrist band. there were quite a number of people there but to my happiness, my understanding of russian has improved (yay!) and to cut the story short, i was out of there in less than half an hour. thats a record!

after a few stops along the way, yx and i were on our way to meet our other friends in the universitet mall. i changed the battery to my watches and bought some toiletries before facing the real reason we went to the mall. 

we learned that Victoria Secret and La Senza were having sales through friends of ours so we headed there to check things out. yx was interested in their makeup sets whereas i got attracted to other things. 

there was this passport holder that was selling for only 800rubs (50% off!) that i really liked, but what really caught my eye was this silver clutch-purse thing. i love love loved it so much. 

it was this sort of faux snake skin silver leather-y thing. a magnetic clasp held it shut. when you opened it, there was a row of card holders on the right and two long slits running down its length where you could put cash etc.

there was a thin compartment on the left side, held shut by a button and another long slit behind that for more money or whatever else that you fancied to bring along. 

the strap were made of chains which you could detach. when attached it was like a sling bad, or if you looped it over twice you'd get a handbag. 

i was so in love with it. 

the price was such a bitch! it's ori price was around 5500-6000rubs? dont really remember, but after discount it was selling for 3900rubs. 

like what?!?!?!!

for that small thing? sure, it's gorgeous and i love it to pieces but i just couldnt justify buying that for myself.

discouraged, we decided to head over to La Senza. we spent some time browsing and picking cute undies, then decided to check out their bras. i dont think i'd ever buy a bra from there unless i really really love the design.

see, i normally get sloggi, or triumph, or pierre cardin back in malaysia. and even though different brands have different sizing, mine were always the same few sizes.

none of my normal sizes fitted in La Senza -.- gosh i was so frustrated, because there was this one bra that i really liked, but no matter what i had tried, some part didnt fit well or it looked funny or something. pfft. 

after purchasing our things, we headed back to VS for yx to grab her makeup set. i glanced longingly at the silver clutch-purse once more. it was never going to happen, though, so i dejectedly let my gaze wander once more through the store. 

and there it was. attached to the handle of a luggage was a scarf. nothing too fancy about it, just a plain black scarf with Victoria Secret printed all over in hot pink. if i couldnt get the clutch, i'd settle for getting just a scarf for myself. 

cheering up a little, i decided to check the price. oh hell no. the damn thing cost 2500rubs! like what?!?!?!?! for that thin scarf?! seriously?!

i was heartbroken. 

i had to leave sans clutch for the second time, and i couldnt even get myself a scarf as a pick-me-up. yx made her payment and we headed home soon after. 

lesson learnt. shopping with my parents is still the best. i just cant justify buying things for myself when the whole decision is upon my two shoulders. scratch that. i find it hard to justify buying things for myself. its like an 90-10. with my parents around however, i still end up saying no most of the time, but i do indulge and splurge once in a while, so it's kinda like a 70-30. and i feel less guilty after signing the credit card slip with them around. ;)

next thing on my list would be to find an occasion that i can ask for a chanel bag. if i cant have that stupid gorgeous VS clutch, then i want a chanel to appease my indignation.

but then again i'd probably talk myself out of it before i even ask my parents. mehhh.

i'm declaring war.

so. i understand and believe that everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, but pleaseeeeee, keep it to yourselves unless someone actually asks you for yours. 

i cant stand the whole K-pop and asian celebrity thing. i've been pretty vocal about it in the past, but since i'm surrounded by people who are fans of that whole thing, i've been trying to just keep pretty quiet about my dislike of the whole thing. i listen to my music, you listen to yours.

but if you're going to try and get me to accept your view, i'm sorry but i'm going to stand up for my own opinion too. i've got a problem with the whole package. chinese, taiwanese, japanese stars. yeah, i dislike them all. but oh my god, the korean stars and their fans are the worst.

what the fuck is it with the guys?!?!?! they all look like fucking girls. seriously. one of the things i paling pantang in life is pretty boys. if you're born with fine features, i dont have a problem with you. but if you start trying to make yourself all feminine and shit, sorry but take yourself and all that trash down another alley. i've literally spent minutes staring at some of their pictures wondering if i'm looking at a male or a female.

80% of koreans have undergone plastic surgery. and amongst their celebrities, i dare say more than 90% of them have had something or another done, and they're open with it. so sorry dearies, your idol or whatever the hell they are, arent really pretty. they're all fake. and they're promoting the whole fake thing. clones everywhere! most of them look so similar that i've got friends who are fans of said person, but cant even tell who she is or from what band she's from just by looking at a picture. what dafuq?

a friend once told me she doesnt really listen to english songs because they're always about sex, or love, or money. yes, i have to admit, the mainstream songs are almost always focused on those few topics. but there are indie songs out there too. when i asked her what do her korean bands sing about, she laughs and tells me that they sing about the same thing too. whattttt?!

since i'm on a roll here, what's with the ridiculously large band?! they've got like what,  ten friggin members in a group on average? apparently there's a boy band out there with more than 90 members. some of them dont even know all the members in their band. anyway, back to the smaller bands with what, ten members? out of those ten, only three of them would be able to sing, and they normally form a side band. wtf?! why not just form your own small band with members that can actually sing in the first place?! then apparently some members are there because they act in tv series. helloooooo. if you can act but not sing, then stick to friggin acting and dont try out singing. other members are there to do variety shows. seriously?! is joining a band their way of making a nobody into a B-list celebrity who fast tracks onto the A-list?!

the most ridiculous part of the whole K-pop scene to me is how these people have been groomed for years before their debut. seriously?! you fucking train for years, YEARS, before you release an album and finally debut? they learn singing and dancing and dressing up etc. after so many years of training, all you have to show are seventy percent of your members not being able to sing and dancing that are worse than some back up dancers i've seen. with all your years of grooming and training and dancing everyday at practice etc, why the hell are your dance moves still so basic? the only part of their grooming facade that i wont go into is their dressing up slash making up part, and that is also only because i've found their fashion to be bizarre from the start so i just tune that completely out whenever possible.

and cant you fucking come up with your own songs?!?! apparently korean record companies like to buy english songs and use them or whatever the fuck it is they do. my friend insists its not plagiarism, but whatever, it still is to me. thats just low. i've met people who listen to korean and even chinese songs, and when i let them listen to the original english song, they just go "they're copying the koreans!" sorry buster, but most of the english songs that your korean stars use came out years and years before the koreans bought it or whatever.

have you ever heard of someone trying to sing a song in a language that they do not speak? you friggin' butcher it. when i hear people who do not speak korean trying to sing korean songs, i just wonder if they realize their mispronunciation might result in them saying that they're faggots and idiots in korean instead. i do see the justice in that.

i realize i'm going to get a lot of heat from this, but whatever. my sister and cousins are into the whole k-pop scene. ninety percent of my friends here love k-pop. but i dont. so keep your thing away from me, and i wont have to choose between gorging out my eyes and ear drums or trashing your idol in front of you.

ps. i still love you, really i do, just dont try to get me to love that whole asian-celebrity thing.

Sex and the City

and yet another finale!

so for some reason still unknown to me, i've decided to start watching sex and the city, what, about a month ago? i honestly don't remember what had prompted me to start watching it. my mom didnt watch it, or at least i don't remember her watching it. my friends don't watch it - we were all too young when it came out.

my first introduction to SATC was probably when the second movie came out. all the hype over abu dhabi and the outrageous premier outfits got me interested. so i ended up watching the first movie, and then the second movie.

now that i've sat through all six seasons and finally know about their history, i'll probably end up re-watching the movies again to fully appreciate it, haha.


here's the sad(ish) part though. i'm the kind of person who loves talking things over, be it a book or movie or my favourite, a tv series. but there's no one i can talk SATC to! the people who watch it are probably in their late thirties or forties now. no twenty odd year old that i know of would actually take the effort and time to stream a series that premiered way back in 1998.

guess i'm a weirdo like that. mehhh.

on another note, it's christmas eve again! not that i'm actually going to celebrate twice, but to all the orthodox christians out there counting down till christmas, С Рождеством!