#MeToo

Let’s talk sexual assault. And sexual harassment. And all that yucky, non-consenting sexual stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable just because I’m bringing it up.

Because Me Too. But not only me too, because it’s her too, and her too, and probably even him too.

A few days ago I posted Me Too on a social media platform, without any elaboration, just to see what sort of reaction I would get. Because I wanted to add my voice to the conversation despite being too afraid to share my story. Besides, I didn’t feel like I owed my story to anyone anyway. (And you don’t owe your story to anyone either. Just know that whenever or if ever you do feel ready to come forward, there’s a whole community of people believing and supporting you.)

I’ll admit that I was a coward, but seeing the countless other women I know share their stories on another social media platform, and seeing the overwhelming support being poured out and shared around, gave me the courage to speak out.

I wish I only had a story to share, or maybe just two. But sadly, the truth is I have too many stories to share. Which one do you want to hear about? That time a stranger sprung a kiss on me then darted away laughing with his friends, despite me being surrounded by my male and female friends? Or what about the time I was relentlessly pulled to dance with a few different men in turns, despite struggling to resist them with all my weight? Or when a guy friend took “No” to mean “try harder,” and after a few tries warned me that I would regret my decision? Or when we were under the influence and another friend didn’t feel like he needed to keep his hands to himself? Or that time I ended up locked in a room with a man who had authority over me and a body size way larger than mine, and was forced to play nice and let him kiss me and grope me and caress me and rub himself against me?

That last one still makes my skin crawl.

I wish I was the exception, but I know that’s not true. Almost every other female that I know have been sexually harassed at least once. We’re the normal, and this “normal” is anything but.

Because I have a friend who was stopped by men who proceeded to lift her by the groin and held her in the air despite all her screaming and struggling.

And another friend who got propositioned by a male friend in our group despite never having shown an ounce of interest, and was at best, only civil towards him.

And one more friend who had a stranger stick his hand up her dress on a crowded public transport.

Let’s not forget all the times we’ve all been cat called on the streets or told to put on some makeup or my favorite, “smile because it makes you look prettier”.

I’ve spent a quarter of my life abroad, and I can easily say that sexual harassment is something that is truly nondiscriminatory. That stranger or friend or acquaintance truly does not care about your race or age or the way you dress.

A lot of the times we keep silent because we don’t want to rock the boat or because of victim shaming. If at any point during your read of this article the thought of “yeah, but what were you/she wearing at the time?” ever crossed your mind, you’re part of the problem. Yes, I’m calling you out.

What a girl does (or does not) wear doesn’t matter. I could be walking topless down the street, and it doesn’t entitle anyone to sexually harass me. Girls are already doing so much to try and protect themselves. Well, I think it’s high time that boys/men are held accountable for their actions. Teach your fathers (there are a lot of lecherous old men out there) and uncles and sons and brothers and friends to be better. Because that predatory behavior is unacceptable. Not in the past, not now, and certainly not in the future.

At the end of the day we’re all human beings. And I believe that everyone, male and female, deserve to be treated decently and with respect.